September 16, 2008
Dear Friend,
I am writing this to you because I am so utterly confused about life. I thought I knew what I wanted, but now that I’m going to college and pursuing everything, I’m not so sure. The problem is that I’m a planner. I can’t just “go with the flow” of things, and as you know, I’m very impatient. I know that everyone says that college is when you “find yourself”, but I thought that I already knew who I was, and now that I’m realizing I don’t, that scares me. I think you of all people would understand that because you’re finding yourself just as much as I am. I just need to know that other people are just as confused as I am, because it sure doesn’t seem like it. I feel like I’m the only one who is gradually veering off this path, and soon I’m going to get so lost I’m not going to know what to do. And more than anything I hate regretting decisions I’ve made. I can never make up my mind, and when I finally do, I always wonder “what if?” So that’s how I’ve spent my week…wondering “what if?” What if I had gone to that other college? What if Tanner and I went to school together? Would we be having the problems we are having now? Am I better off without him? My mom sure thinks so. I know she wants what’s best for me, but I’m not quite ready to let go. The whole thing just really makes me sad, and I’m not a sad person. So this is my life. And I want you to know that I’m not always this depressed and cynical, but you’re the only one who’s been able to make me laugh and I’m missing you terribly. The reason I wrote this letter is because I don’t think I have anyone else to talk to.
Sincerely,
Me
Michelle Marie
